with the ending of tis week, it means AIT is over and 4 mths has gone by in my army life....well, NS is never a good thing for guys though....2yrs of our life wasted but we have no choice do we? if we dun serve, who's gonna protect tis country....y muz it be only the guys doing national service? since it's called 'national service', shouldn't everyone serve? i juz dun get it....but since it's already tis way, i juz have to take it in my stride and serve it...now till our next bloc leave in dec will be more training...i juz dun know if i can tahan it all...i mean, i have been failing IPPT since enlistment....though the results are improving over time, i wonder if i can even juz get a pass by the end of nov...tat's the deadline my sect comm wan me to pass...it's possible but chin and 2.4km are really a drag to me....i love running...but long distances is still a no-go zone for me...and my bones are heavy, i think....pass or RT for me....i hate it when weekends are burn for some crap reasons...next week got guard duty and it means no time to rest..or even go out to play soccer...haven't play for 4 wks liao...2 times was coz i book out on sat , the other 2 times coz no ppl playing...haiz, i really need a breather....when can i go on a holiday? with NS commitments, how long can i even go? even tat, where can i go? i so wanna go Japan, England and Spain...all these needs money, and with juz NS allowance to rely on, i can't save much to go to these great places...life is so frustrating....and a quote from yang sheng' ONLY SOCCER IS KEEPING ME BREATHING'...i guess tat is juz the motivation for me...after all, soccer is still my love...and coz of NS, i miss 2 of my fren's bday...to JL and KW, sorry i wasn't there to celebrate with u guys but i hope u guys enjoyed turning 20...

I really need to re-think my decision again. Let you go and i suffer. Hoping to be with you but never get the wish, i suffer. No matter which way, i am the one suffering. I want you to be happy but not to the expense in which i am suffering. Will that happy day even come or is it just a fading illusion? Standing at the border between happiness and suffering.

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com